Writing English- It's not easy ^^

I have to confess that I am a terrible writer. I'm not good with how to explain my feeling in the best way. In one time, I talked with one of my roommate when I saw her note in her facebook that all my sentences in the essay just like I want, I would like, I am. Finish. I don't know how to choose the word for each situation. I am always impressed by other excellent writing people. When I read their writing, I fell so impressed and always wonder how to become like them? 
The first I think I can be a good writer if I try day by day. After that, I downloaded a diary software in order to write all my feeling in everyday. Haiz, but until now after maybe 2 years, I still count the number of essays I wrote. And at the end, my writing skill still is zero. 
I remember all time when I work in Wireless communication lab. At this time, my paper is reviewed by one of members in the lab. Not one time, a brother in the lab after revising my paper asked me that have you ever seen your paper again or did you forget every grammar rules in English??? Huhu, even I didn't much concentrate on writing and revising, It hurt me lot. Again, I tried to write again and again, but now I know that I can not be a good writer. This is a kind of talent that I don't have. 
I firstly want to write by myself and don't let anyone know about it. But now, It is so stupid when I have to do this due to lacking the writing skill.
Opening blog to my friends. Hello word, ^^